Masculinity

Masculinity A photographer’s exploration of the infinite ideas that people see in themselves. 

By Antonia Penia 

I was born into a strongly Catholic family in a small fishing town in the northwest of Spain. Sexism was the default setting. My personal revolution reached a tremendous turning point when my mother came to a photographic exhibition of my work in Madrid in 2004, when I was 24, and witnessed the large self-portrait prints; her daughter naked, in intimate and erotic poses. My mother could not believe these images of me until my sister convinced her. She was deeply shocked, yet this heralded a moment of change, not just for me but, wonderfully, for her too. Some of these intimate photographs (up to three metres in size!) are now proudly and permanently displayed in her living room. So, how did this all come about? I love my family despite the dominant masculinity that ran in the blood, nerves and bones of the human beings I happened to grow up with. I was told that the road to success and power was only travelled by men. As a female child, I was expected to wash the dishes and make my brothers’ beds. The sting here was that this rule was mostly enforced by my first female role model, my mother; a powerful contradiction where the “masculine” stereotypes emanated from a fellow female. This was confusing and painful. Indeed, even at the age of nine, I remember wanting to be a man. The logic of this made perfect sense, but only to me. 

 Fast-forward to me being one of only three women photographers to shoot covers for Playboy in Spain. The irony of this is not lost on me. Here I was photographing women, telling women what to do, objectifying them from a masculine point of view. So far, so inevitable, yet I don’t regret it, as the experience strongly influenced my development both as a photographer and as an artist. But, at the same time, I was beginning to intuit what was truly feminine. I started to feel that the women I was photographing were really like me – “feminine”. These women accepted their femininity as a natural way of being, along with the power that accompanied it. I found this very attractive, yet it led to a degree of confusion over my sexuality. But I treasure these moments of confusion, as they’ve led me to see that sexuality isn’t about labels at all. For years I lived in a label-driven society: being “Catholic”; being “right-wing”; being a “woman”; being a “man”. Even in childhood, I could sense there was something wrong in this, that society wasn’t truly like this, that its components were far more grey, far less defined than I had been taught and now, as an artist, and after many years of being a photographer, seeing these definitions of sexuality, especially of masculinity, I’m enjoying being a woman who has no fear of tearing off the labels and exploring the infinite ideas that people see in themselves. My project, Masculinity, does not promote an opinion or particular viewpoint; it’s about discovering who people are regardless of their labels, those imposed externally, as well as those we’ve given ourselves. 

What is masculinity for you?                                                                                    Masculinity is an energy we all possess, and it would be remiss of us to limit this conversation only to those who are cis-het males.

A privilege 

I decided to shoot the stills for this project on medium format film. I have a strong historical connection to film because, when I started working professionally, that’s all I shot on for eight years. Even by 2004, I had no idea you could shoot digitally. Since the project is linked to my development as an artist, shooting on film has a sensory directness and focus of energy that I don’t get with digital. 

I found all my subjects through word of mouth. I wanted to have a variety of cultures, religions, genders, and races. I believe that we all possess both energies – masculine and feminine – and we all have the same human rights that matter: sex, gender, race, and religion. So that was very important for me. 

My process with the subjects was very specific. I asked each person to think about the subject of “masculinity”, whatever that word means to them. Before each shoot I provided a questionnaire asking specific questions to encourage them to think about what they wanted to express, and how they viewed the subject of masculinity. This allowed them better to define what they wanted to present of themselves and what they wanted to say. I left it up to them as to how to be photographed, how to be dressed, what to emphasise, what to hide. If they wanted to give themselves a label, that was also fine. I made it clear that we had only ten shots on each roll of 120 negative film; no more, no less. This helped them focus on what they wanted to show, making the sessions more productive. 

I conducted video interviews with them in a similar fashion. What they wanted to say was entirely their call; I set up the camera and left them alone to talk to it (briefly chatting with them beforehand if that’s what they needed). They could do as many takes as they wanted. I believe this put them at ease, removing any pressure to perform “correctly”. I wanted them to know that I had no expectations of them. And what they expressed was a privilege to witness. 

About Antonia Penia
She/her
Antonia Penia is an award-winning artist, photographer and
filmmaker born in Galicia, Spain, and based in London since
2010. Antonia’s project, The Warrior of My Life, is a finalist at the
AOP Awards 2023. Her work From War to the Wardrobe won her
the prestigious Portrait of Britain Award in 2022. A retrospective
celebrating 20 years of her work focusing on her hometown of
Cambados in Galicia, was recently held at the Cervantes Institute
in Prague.
Antonia is a visual artist who expresses her creative vision using
photography, video, and performance art. Through exploring and
insinuating her self-image, she creates intimate, sensual and
provocative images that explore identity, gender, and social and
cultural status and some of the narratives that question human
behaviour like issues of power, religion, race, gender, and the
relationship between the past and present.
Feelings of longing, loss, mental health, censorship, and
connection to the natural and spiritual world have shaped her
work. She is challenging the history of patriarchy and the abuse
of power through gender across her life. She believes in equality,
and she fights for her rights.

www.antoniapenia.com/

www.instagram.com/antoniapenia/

Masculinity video:antoniapenia.com/p918969514

This article was published in WE ARE, The Women in Photography magazine, March 2024 

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